monkeycrap's Diaryland Diary

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There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness - Nietzsche

Happy valentine's day in advance people. Every year, i'd spend valentine's watching tv at home. This year's gonna be different! I'll be spending it in camp. Some say it's a hallmark holiday, where the ones who truly benefit from the spirit of love are the florists and the restaurant owners, all of which are suckers for your money. Well i'd be spending quality time with mosquitoes in camp too so either way, just like love, suckers actually are all around. I tell you ah, if I meet cupid, I'd firstly ask him how much commission he's making, secondly smack him on his face and lastly behead him with his arrow. Anyway, for those who're attached and celebrating V-day, have a great one, have a great time treasuring the treasures you have. For those who're not and spending time with family and friends, have a great and meaningful one too. For those who're spending it alone, have a great day too. It's real important to love yourself before you can love others, I feel, so yeah. For those who're spending it in camp, go stock up on repellent.

Great way to start a V-dinner conversation....

Papa bee, mama bee, baby bee and butterfly sat in a car. Car broke down. Papa bee went to pee in the fuel compartment. Car moved. After awhile, car broke down. Mama bee went to pee and car moved. Car broke down again. Baby bee went to pee in the compartment and car moved. Car broke down again. Butterfly went to pee but nothing happened. Why?

Because the car only runs on BP. I know. Old joke. But it's damn funny. So corny and wheaty that I can barley understand it even though I oat to. So amaizeing.

I don't know if I should do this, cos it'll make me sound so psuedo-philosophical, and I don't wanna give that impression at all. But it's my blog and I really want to say what I feel about this love thing. Ok I will.

But first, disclaimer. I'm not at all experienced in this love/relationship(haha sounds like the new Linkin Park Jay-Z single) thing, and this is solely my opinion and I will not be held responsible if anyone decides to consider my perspective and ends up getting smacked or splashed by water on V-dinner.

Love. There's nothing bad about love, nothing at all. Love's supposed to be this warm, fuzzy, good feeling, this radiation of niceness which is contagious. It only becomes hurtful, painful, because of our attachment to our expectations. When parents love their children, there's nothing painful or sad about it. The heartache only occurs when their children turn out not what they expect them to be, and when they are unable to accept that fact and let it go. Same goes for relationships. Pain comes when you expect reciprocation, when you're afraid you're not giving enough, when you're angry that the other party's not giving enough, when situations do not go the way you expect them to be.

I'm not saying that there shouldn't be any expectations. We need expectations to be able to see where a relationship is heading and to work at it. I'm not saying that everyone should just wait for something to happen. Nope. Love in this form is still tricky business, it's still kind of a game. And chances will still have to be taken when it comes, or else you may regret it for quite sometime. What i'm saying is that getting so absorbed in these expectations and dreams of perfect relationships will result in excess baggage which will cause all the ouchness. I guess it's a matter of being prepared.

All that crap coming from someone who watches tv every V-day right? Yup, I know, I know. That's my cue to go. Have a great week ahead guys.

Bows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere, i've looked at cloud that way.
But now they only block the sun, they rain and snow on everyone.
So many things i would have done but clouds got in my way.

I've looked at clouds from both sides now,
From up and down, and still somehow
It's cloud illusions i recall.
I really don't know clouds at all.

Moons and junes and ferris wheels, the dizzy dancing way you feel
As every fairy tale comes real; i've looked at love that way.
But now it's just another show. you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, don't give yourself away.

I've looked at love from both sides now,
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions i recall.
I really don't know love at all.

Tears and fears and feeling proud to say "i love you" right out loud,
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, i've looked at life that way.
But now old friends are acting strange, they shake their heads, they say I've changed.
Something's lost but something's gained in living every day.

I've looked at life from both sides now,
From win and lose, and still somehow
It's life's illusions i recall.
I really don't know life at all.

Joni Mitchell - Both sides now

10:30 a.m. - 2005-02-13

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