monkeycrap's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- the mind. capable of making a hell of heaven and a heaven of hell. Happy cny people. Cny's been pretty good so far. Visiting went pretty well, managed to catch up with many relatives, even though the average time spent actually talking to an uncle or auntie works out to 5 minutes. Oh well. Anyway it's the same old questions with slight variations every year - different phrasing, extended chorus, etc, but ultimately same old questions with standard answers. I should compile these questions and provide model answers. Then can publish the Chinese New Year ten year series. Sure generate more revenue than my hongbao collection. I've always thought of cny as a very practical, a tad unrealistic festival. Don't get me wrong, I still love cny and the whole atmosphere thing, but, I mean what's with "I wish you prosperity, longevity, many riches and happiness!" Then exchange orlenjers for angpows. The 1st January new year on the other hand, is more introspective, more thought-provoking, you know, in a "start afresh, new beginning" sort of way. But this cny kinda changed a little of that perception. Of course, one big family gathering in one house, with great food and general happiness all-round, it feels good. We're not only related by blood, but we're interrelated in some other way, something that i can't quite put my finger to. It's something not really describable, but apparent when you see kids playing with the old people, old people giving useless advice to teenagers, adults nodding in agreement just to be nice, you know, there's that kind of feeling that there's a certain golden thread linking the family. Maybe John Mayer does a better job of emphasizing and describing that thread. Fathers, be good to your daughters Visited another relative of mine, who just last year, which by the way didn't seem too long ago, was all bubbly and jokey and proudly displaying her crafts(she's a brilliant supertalent, building swans, vases, flowers from paper used at Toto booths. She imagines how she'd want it to look like and just starts crafting). And this year, she's almost blind and partially deaf and losing a little of her mental consciousness. She was playing it down, trying to seem ok about it. Deep down I know she really wants to burst into tears and tell us her suffering, how lost she's feeling, her hardships, how life's so cruel to her, how sudden the illness hit her and how she doesn't know what hit her, but she can't as it's cny, must be happy. I know, this kind of story, got plenty of very well-written ones in chicken soup books, but only when you personally experience it for yourself would it really hit you. She then handed my dad a plastic bag. Inside was 2 pencil holders crafted from 'Toto paper', from scratch. She remembered that my dad requested her for some crafts last year. It was just a request for fun, done to patronize her, and to make her feel good that people appreciate her art. One year, One blindness and One deafness later, she still not only remembered this small, unimportant, insignificant request, but actually got about working on it. Everyone was stunned. I was about to tear there and then. I know describing it like that on a blog entry doesn't really stir up much emotion, but believe me, if you're there at that point in time, you'll be affected. So if someone whom I only visit once a year, eat her goodies and give standard tys answers to, can actually care enough and consider me such an important priority such that she took 3 months to complete a masterpiece (despite blindness and deafness and financial problems) and give it to me without any qualms, why in the blue hell am I wasting my time getting affected by minor irritants whom I get to see almost everyday? Life's far too short to sweat the petty stuff(my sick camp friend says it's more worth it to pet the sweaty stuff LOL), to get affected and attached to my expectations regarding some issues which I've not much control over. I just hope that everything'll be carefully thought out and naturally be concluded when the smoke clears and the dust settles. I really hope so. Ok enough philo crap. This cny, my wish for myself, as cliche and overused as it is - I hope to be granted the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. 9:32 p.m. - 2005-02-11 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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