monkeycrap's Diaryland Diary

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There is no one so sure as someone totally deluded.

Affirmations

It is I who lost my cool, totally blew it, and hence uttered the most immortalized phrase in seletar camp office history, "Want to fight go outside and fight la!"

It is I, Mr. Ex-neighbour's kid, who, a long time ago, burnt down half your garden whilst you were out, in a tactless game of 'sparkler bomb'.

It is I also, who thought it was funny to offer you popcorn which had been stepped on, on purpose of course.

It is I who didn't learn my lesson and burnt down my own outdoor christmas tree via 'sparkler bomb'.

It is I who spent NS savings on a solo trip to Vancouver/Seattle, and experienced true, pure contentment atop the Lions' Gate Bridge.

It is I who jammed and destroyed the paper shredder in camp, forgetting that unlike sex, the more the shredder groans, the less you insert.

It is I who still often wonders whether infinity is a straight line or a circle.

It is I who still remembers that long walk we took, though it might not've been that significant to you.
It is I who defecated in the shrubs near the Big Splash at East Coast Park at 3.30am, as the nearest toilet was really too far away.

It is I who indulges in collecting colognes, and who can proudly boast of 20 bottles and counting.

It is I who was on the elevated platform, next to the pole at Coco Latte the other night.

It is I who thinks you're attractive, the same person who asks himself 'what if'.

It is I who extended my army ORD date by a weekend, being confined for deciding to sleep late instead of going for roll call, and getting caught walking to the toilet in nothing but my sergio tacchini boxers. And hence costing the rest of my bunkmates their weekend as well.

It is I who introduced you guys to hotdog/hamburger buns at barbeque sessions.

It is I who appreciates techno and euro music. The trashier the better.

It is I who decided not to be caught in the middle anymore, having being done so for years. And so decided to make the difficult decision, the one that makes better sense, the one that's the lesser of 2 evils. Wasn't easy. Still isn't.

It is I who has a strong aversion for wet toilet seats, wet toilet floors and wet toilet paper. As much as I do with respect to blue cheese.

It is I who lived in my kiddy imaginary X-men world. Till age 12.

It is I who encouraged the both of you to join the vertical marathon, claiming that we'll conquer republic plaza together. And ran off from the start, kinda leaving both of ya behind. Still feel a bit bad about it la.

It is I who still wonders 'what it could've been', from time to time.

It is I who cross dressed at Sentosa, with 2 yellow fireman helmets for boobs.

It is I who said to you that I think it's weird to cry while watching Finding Nemo.

It is also I who teared uncontrollably when Liverpool defeated AC Milan on penalties in the 2005 Champions League Final.

It is I who had never and will never understand the concept of financial accounting.

It is I who rolled on the floor of Seletar Camp, Jurong Camp, SAFTI, opposite the NUS soccer field and in the tunnel leading to Yusof Ishak House, just for the heck of it.

It is I who enjoy long random aimless walks, whether with friends or solitary.

It is I who, because of your actions, made me give up on a lot of things. Not that it's a bad thing, not that I'd use it as an excuse. What won't kill you can only make you stronger, yeah?

It is I who is trying to be the temperature, not the thermometer.

It is I who sang 'I believe' in korean in front of a crowd of 20 musically-well-versed people, because I was dared to.

It is I who misses you.

It is I who can be found on Tuesday evenings in some obscure bugis dance studio trying to figure the quickstep out. To no avail, apparently.

It is I who still feels that the ultimate cure for any physical or emotional illness is a large plate of Peter's char kway teow, at Katong. Soul food.

It is I who takes my shower singing very seriously.

It is I who believes some wounds get further aggravated due to the friction caused by the chafing of the sands of time.

It is I who doesn't like frogs. Those big bull ones. Yuck.

It is I who still harbours ambitions of working for the WWE.

It is I who grew up with 4 rabbits, 4 chickens, 3 turtles, 2 mealworms, 1 aquarium.

It is I who feels that maybe I should've taken my chances at that time, but know that I might not do so even when given that 2nd shot.

It is I who ate 6 burgers in 4 days at Mcdonalds while studying for exams.

It is I who still cannot row a kayak laterally sideways without causing it to capsize.

It is I who used to collect wrestling action figures. And still take them out to fight once in awhile.

It is I whose idea of a good sci-fi movie is Starship Troopers. Absolutely no other 'stars' of any kind, whether of the 'wars' or the 'trek' variety.

It is I who think the scent of fruity perfumes/soap very alluring.

It is I who can and will never understand the strategy behind intellectual games like bejewelled and puzzle bobble, preferring instead to spend good money on a mind boggling strategic game of air hockey instead.

It is I who loves a good Bloody Mary in a pub/lounge.

It is I who grew up listening to The Bee Gees, The Beatles, The Eagles, The Carpenters, The Seekers, Herman's Hermits and John Denver, before discovering Glenn Ong and 98.7FM.

It is I who never gets high or drunk, whose biological system prefers instead to carry out the uneventful and spontaneous puke-sleep routine upon exceeding alcohol intake limit.

It is I who thinks that those overmotivated, overenergised business-types who go on and on about raising the bar, achieving your dreams, trekking the winning paths and effective networking are fake, deluded and quite simply, pathetic.

It is I who so desperately wants to travel.

It is I who can eat anything with japanese mayonnaise or caramel.

It is I who feels that sometimes you've to be left alone to feel less lonely.

It is I who was part of the quartet who played christmas carols without a license to do so along the wheelock place tunnel on 23rd Dec 2005.

It is I who might die from an overdosage of mentos.

It is I who, don't ask me why - I have absolutely no idea, still have the lyrics of some Backstreet Boys' songs ingrained in my head. Impossible to get rid even if I wanted to. Same goes for Lemon Tree, Calcutta by Dr. Bombay and We're going to Ibiza.

It is I who tries hard to avoid conflict, but also kinda realises that you're kinda damned if you do and damned if you don't.

It is I who agrees with Nick Hornby that people kill themselves not because they hate life, rather, because they love it, but it's all screwed up.

It is I who concurs with Geoff Dyer that only when everyone in the world is susceptible to boredom will the project of globalization be complete.

It is I who cannot sit through cheesy romantic movies, but who absolutely loves those good ones. Which explains watching Love Actually 16 times.

It is I who rates I am Sam, Forrest Gump, Lost in Translation and Before Sunrise/Sunset as the other top 5 movies ever watched.

It is I who tries to remind myself that logical explanations and rationalized justifications ain't necessary all the time, cos those who're with you don't need to listen to one, whilst those against you will never believe you.

It is I who doesn't see the glass being half-full or half-empty, having remembered reading somewhere that if the glass is half-anything, it's time to top up the beer.

It is I who believes that if you set your mind to it, you can screw anything up big time.

It is I who admit that it is possible to fake it till you make it.

It is I who, while trying to be as objective as possible, do not discount the fact that there are losers around, people of low EQ and high stupidity, and they flock together, basking in the glow of the binding force that is their combined defeats.

It is I who feels that world peace is impossible, and the only thing sadder than a miss universe contestant hoping for it to happen, is for her to pronounce it 'world piss'.

12:29 p.m. - 2007-05-21

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

previous - next