monkeycrap's Diaryland Diary
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The more I act as though I'm not in a position, then the more I'm in a position.
And so, I'm back. After a long struggle with itch-to-blog-but-haven't-the-conviction-to-sit-down-and-do-so-itis, I'm back, out of rehab, and find myself horizontally plopped in front of my Aspire 5550 whose system configuration seems more shaky than the camerawork on my Management and Organisation video project. Let's see how long this blog revival lasts.
What a semester. How to update you guys ah? Erm. Let's start with the academia bit, not because it is the most integral part of every student's life, but because I want to get it over and done with. As far as the exams are concerned, it's all over, and I mean that in every way possible. A detailed breakdown and analysis of each module reveals bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, in that order of preference.
Of course, results ain't everything, so say the people with the 5.0 averages. 'There's gotta be more to life', they croon, quoting Stacie Orrico. While it's true that one should never trust any singer conceived by the guy behind MTV Generation X and pink bubblegum(not especially when the lyrics of her newer song goes something like i'm not missing you/you mighta had me open/ but I must be goin because/I got lots to do), I still think it makes sense. The bit about results not being everything lah, not the lyrics.
Factors leading to the abovementioned situation include the usual dosage of excessive playing, tv watching, you know, the things you regret doing too much of but know you'll end up doing over and over again (because there's no chance in hell you're going to give up watching, for the 3rd time, a midday re-run of 'Backyard cooking' or 'Beasts of the serengeti' or 'CSI: They will solve the damn thing eventually lah', even if there're tons of financial accounting worked examples waiting for you to work out). And of course, of couse, the mid-semester holiday to Malaysia.
Here's the situation now. You see chubby boy crying in the street. You ask chubby boy why chubby boy's crying. Chubby boy says it's because he dropped his ice-cream cone. You say, 'Silly kid, it's only an ice-cream cone. We'll getcha a new one.'
But see, it's never about the ice-cream cone. (Not even if it's a Ben and Jerry's one). It's always about a deeper wound. Perhaps it's the stupidity he feels, being so careless. Perhaps he feels that he's let the person who's entrusted him with the cone down. Perhaps it's the guilt that comes with the wasting of money. Perhaps it's something else. And while others might come along and say, hey, pick yourself up, kiddo, all chubby boy wants to do is to pick the cone up, to pick up the pieces, for the cone to return to the way it was. But that's not possible because the fifth law of thermodynamics state that ice cream will melt when dropped under normal circumstances. And he wasn't even hungry in the first place.
I guess we all feel lost and a lil' messed up once in awhile, and that given certain situations, you tend to increase the frequency in which you engulf yourself with unanswerable rhetorics beginning with 'what', 'why' (or more recently for me, 'who'). It's not about being miserable, more of just trudging through the sludge that is contentment, while injecting yourself with happiness heroin booster shots that come in the form of bbq gatherings, the occasional rendition of mayday songs at kbox, ice skating at Jurong, badminton at Clementi and a (probable) short trip.
I cannot say how much channel 18 has done for me by screening the 3rd season of Ed on Wednesday nights. I'd started watching in sec 3, before it got vanquished from tv land together with Pinky and the Brain as well as that awful local sitcom which starred Jamie Yeo as some flight stewardess. Almost as awful as the Courts commercials. Anyway, point is, they've given me back a part of my life, the simple escapades of Ed, the brillant lawyer who got sick of city life (his wife happened to sleep with the mailman) and hence decided to return to his hometown, Stuckeyville. Nothing melodramatic, no k-drama scenarios, just the ordinary small town life and the issues that come with it, as well as the usual stuff on love and life.
4:29 p.m. - 2006-12-13
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