monkeycrap's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i can fly higher than an eagle, cos you are the wings beneath my wind. Now, I don't want to lose you, And that don't really matter to anyone anymore. But there's a danger in loving somebody too much, Patti Smith and Don Henley - Sometimes love just ain't enough Ok Sid, removed the midi file, just like you requested. Now you may sign my guestbook and make me look popular. Went down to far east square the other day to collect some free tickets, which I won courtesy of Ivan's lobang. Collected it from one of those shophouse converted offices, where you've to weasel your way through little corridors and nameless wooden doors to get to. Maybe it's just me, but I think there's something very alluring and appealing about working in one of those small, cosy, 4-desk, creative ad agency-ish offices. Especially when there's a hot co-worker around. Ok, you can get hot co-workers anywhere, but in a small office, the chance of her backstabbing you in a game of office politics decreases tremendously, and the chance that she'd go out with you increases consequently. Because with less space, there's less people and with less people, there's less... Oh never mind. Took a little walk around the area after that. Ok maybe more than a little walk, cos I found myself in Chinatown at the end of the trail. And that 2 hours have lapsed. Those who know me know that one of my favourite hobbies is to wander around and get lost. So long as I can be 80% sure that my 3Ms (money, modesty, mortality) will remain intact at the end of it, I'd take short cuts, little twists, narrow alleys over the main road. Which is how I found that small cosy chicken rice eating place that day. Good stuff. It's the same with my life, being lost. There're people who view people being lost in life as being aimless, basically screwed up and in need of help. It really shouldn't acquire such a bad name. It's a way of gaining new, unexpected insights, a way of using horizontal expansion to take a respite from vertical striving. Most people feel lost anyway, it's just the magnitude of the frequency and intensity of it. Being lost comes as a obligatory free gift (percuma!), inexplicably attached, to existence. Perhaps the notion of lost has an association with being sad. I'm not sad though, i'm just accumulating self-inflicted non-happiness. So that when something good comes around, the feeling of euphoria reaches an even greater climax. You know, to be happy because of sadness, not in spite of it. There isn't any point in telling yourself that you should/must be happy anyway, happiness doesn't respond to that kind of demand or stimuli. After all, you're only supposed to be granted the serenity to accept the things you cannot change. No one said anything with regards to being happy about it. Was watching Oprah the other day, the episode with Jon Bon Jovi as guest. He was talking about, well, the same old stuff, about how everything's been good to him, how he manages to stay married for 16 years(to the same person), how he manages to stay original, write songs that move people and about giving back to society. Okay, as much as it reeks of standard answers provided by media consultants, I'm gonna be subjectively objective here (because Bon Jovi rocks, duh) and say that he was speaking from the heart of his bott, erm, bottom of his heart. But honestly, I was moved. Really touched by the generosity and affected by how those underprivilleged kids reacted to the gifts of the gap. As in Gap, the clothing line, which provided the schoolwear for those kids. He was talking about how great it feels to make a difference in people's lives and there's nothing like it, the feeling one gets. I agree completely. It's the most selfless selfish act. Selfish cos ultimately, it's about how great you feel after giving. But still, yeah. Ok i'm off now. Cya. 12:07 a.m. - 2006-04-18 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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