monkeycrap's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- she knows it's too late as we're walking on by, her soul slides away, but don't look back in anger, i heard you say. Wow. It's been almost a month since I last blogged. Wow. It's December already. Wow. The year's coming to a close. And that's a good thing. Sometimes, you start thinking about stuff, and one thing leads to another, and the whole thought process just mushrooms. Very overwhelming. And can get pretty depressing for that matter, depending on what the initial stuff is. Felt that a few days ago. Wrecked, aimless, hopeless, defeated, diminished and basically screwed up. I swore I could've killed anything that even tried to provoke me. Tried to straighten things out by taking a long bus ride listening to lifehouse on full blast, and I think the fellow passengers thought I was crazy or something, for I was cradling my face in both palms of my hands, with forehead slumped over the back handrail of the seat in front of me. Which i would not do on a normal day, because i've personally seen old men getting rid of their nasal/trachea expulsion by slathering it on the handrail. But that day, I would've licked the handrail dry if it could make me feel better. Reached home with a headache, and still the thoughts and questions flowed in at broadband speed, culminating in a slight headache and an appreciably larger want to punch the wall down. Problem was solved with a small tablet obtained from when i had the flu, which sent me straight into lala land. But of course am feeling better now. Did eventually kinda sort things out, thought things through. Didn't prove conclusive, but well, most issues aren't, anyway. Sometimes it really helps to feel terrible, because it's really just a case of 'the harder you're thrown, the higher you bounce'. And on hindsight, the pain you get when you're thrown, it kinda feels shiok, in a rather twisted way, cos you know it'll make you stronger. Just have to standby little white pills and forehead protectors. But wow. The year's really ending. All in all, it's been a rather ok year, with its fair share of goldmines and shitholes. I must say that, despite spending most of the year rather uneventfully in camp, i've grown in almost every aspect of my life. Except for the height aspect, which i've long given up on. Anyway. But yeah, even in camp, got to know really interesting people, good friends who are basically choc-a-block full of jokes and insults. Here's what i can remember: Me:Hey, what would you like as a Christmas present? Me:I think i should go learn some self-defence skills. Jason:Hey, you really should go check what's in your drawer. Me:(on the phone) Jason:It's true you know. When you're queuing up to enter a club, the bouncer will allow the good looking people to go to the front of the queue. (We were playing a game of pool in Tampines, and the person in charge of the music was playing this really terrible techno cd) Me:What the heck kind of music is this? Right. I'm off now. 11:43 a.m. - 2005-12-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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