monkeycrap's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- winners never quit. quitters never win. but if you don't win and don't quit, you're pathetic. joking la. Just came back from running in the drizzling rain. Pretty refreshing. The park today was totally covered with heaps and heaps of pink and white flowers. Running through it made me felt like some jap anime character heh. Just call me Ryoshi. Ryoshi Takanaku. Haha rubbish la. Ryosai. Been a pretty good weekend. Had an thought-provoking experience yesterday. After the army open house, which was as boring as watching the !Kung Bushmen on Discovery, a few of us decided to take a lift from my friend who drove, out of SAFTI. While driving halfway, my friend said that he needed to go to the cemetary to spend some time with his mum. So we went to the choa chu kang cemetary. I tell you, the cemetary at night may be au-ishly freaky, but in the afternoon, it's a fantastic place to sit and do some thinking. We drove to the top of this hill, where sloping down on one side were rows and rows of tombstones with crosses and angels mounted on them. On the other side of the hill were brown coloured tombstones, which i believe to be the Jewish cemetary. It's extremely peaceful, beautiful really. We sat in the car watching my friend in the distance, putting on his blue shades to hide the tears, placing flowers in front of the epiptaph, lighting up a cig, and just spending a moment with his mum. And suddenly this came on the car's stereo system: Oceans apart day after day If I see you next to never Wherever you go I took for granted, all the times Oh, can't you see it baby Wherever you go I wonder how we can survive Wherever you go The feeling was damn surreal. And after he returned to the car, the mood and atmosphere totally changed into one of heaviness and melancholy. Very sombre. It's never easy to cope with loss and grief. Life goes on, but emptiness and desolation lingers on. Behind that happy, smiley exterior lies years of emotional torment. Inside that Emporio Armani wallet of his, which oozes confidence, style and machismo, rests appointment cards for psychiatric treatment. It's been quite a rough road for that friend of mine. In addition, he just went through a very painful break-up with his girlfriend of 4 years. He eases the pain with a combination of realising that life sucks and little vices which i'd rather not mention. Personally i feel that temporal easing of pain with vices may not be such a bad thing after all. To me, there is no one nostrum, antidote or panacea for permanent pain relief. Except for death maybe, but there are some considerations to be made before jumping 40 floors. Like who's gonna clean up the mess. I feel that all the talk about general guidelines for living, rules to live by with, etc, they're just, well, guidelines. Ultimately it's all up to you to draw your own guidelines. With a pencil and eraser, I might add. Perhaps there must be a moral absolute. Indeed there has to be. But with what do we use as the benchmark? Religion? Politics? The Law? Ha. Ha. Ha. Look at where it has got us today. I read in today's papers the report on the Russian school terror incident. They're just fucking kids man. I mean, yeah i still believe that somehow everything happens for a reason and that there is some sort of justification to human suffering, but it's a little hard to be saying that when you see pictures of some young innocent kid's father being pumped with bullets. Anyway, on to less serious stuff. Had yet another great homeless vagrant night out with cat yesterday, crashing at raffles the plaza hotel lobby from what, 11pm till 7am? Haha a few more times and they'll start chasing us out i tell you. And oh yeah, pay day's beckoning. Maybe it's time to add another member to my fragrance collection. But i've like one lifetime's supply of fragrances. Wanna see my list? 1. CK 'be' - Used to have 2 bottles. One original, one pirated one from Thailand. Smashed the original one accidentally, now left with the fake one which smells like some propyl propanoate or methyl pentanoate or hexyl septanoate. Whatever. So, what should i add to make it 10? I was thinking Ralph blue or Davidoff Echo. Or maybe a bottle of Dettol. Ok then enough crap. Cya around. 6:33 p.m. - 2004-09-05 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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