monkeycrap's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \"There is nothing like dream to create the future. Utopia to-day, flesh and blood tomorrow.\"---Victor Hugo My official schooling days are over. On friday, the 10th day of october in the year 2003 AD, i sang my last school anthem that i'll ever sing as a student of Anglo Chinese School. After 12 long years. Just as well, i've never really fancied the tune anyway. But really, the baccalaureate service really hit me. It hit me that everything's over. It hit me that it's time to move on, and we're not talking about the kind of trivial, inconsequential, minor transitions like those from pri to sec school. It hit me that this is the real deal, the stuff that the hollywood stars and soccer players describe in their autobiographies as 'one of the hardest times in their lives'. Go read some AC blogs. They've wondrously described the feeling of leaving the AC family. Excellent writing. I shall not even attempt to do that, cos my literary skills are so bad that any heartwarming stuff i write will automatically qualify for an entry in "Chicken poop for the soul". Furthermore, words would undermine the moment itself. Listening to the words of the people coming on stage to speak, telling us what AC means to them, i couldn't help but offer a cynical snigger. Maybe i've always been on the other side of town. AC has taught me that in life, shit does happen. That life is full of downs and downs. That if you don't conform to the societal norms of posing and eating at upmarket places, you belong out of the universal set. That balloons, neoprints and clubbing is hot, and not doing these stuff is, well, not. That depression is common, and cognitive distortions are prevalent. That psychological mask-wearing is a norm. But, BUT. (You kinda knew that there was gonna be a 'but' somewhere right?)Through the shit AC and its peeps have given me all these years, i've come to realise a few things. The fact that there are always people who'll be there for ya, by your side, whether you like it or not. The fact that the limits of originality and being yourself can be stretched, as long as it remains in the 'i-am-cool' zone. The fact that there'll never be as great a bunch of people as the friends i've made over the past 12 freaking years. The fact that its ok to rebel against the authorities. The fact that although shit happens, you won't be alone wading through the sewage system that is life. I guess you've gotta love it to hate it. But the sad thing is that we've all crossed the peripheral boundary and that we'll all be going our separate ways, to fulfill our own destinies and live our nightmares. Whichever path diverged in the woods you choose to take, be it oxford, cambridge, or for me, woodbridge, i wish each and every one of u all the best. And, as patrick sum so aptly (and high-pitchedly) crooned on baccalaureate day, "If he carried the weight of the world upon his shoulders, i know my brother that he will carry you." And for those who still feel sad and unable to swallow the fact that it's all gone, i leave you with this extract from a William Blake poem. He who binds to himself a joy does the winged life destroy; But he who kisses the joy as it flies Lives in eternity's sunrise. I know this entry is super long. Please let me continue with my mindless banter. Was thinking about that indescribable feeling i had during the baccalaureate service in school, and i suddenly remembered the indescribable feeling i had while running at the reservoir the other day. The sky was embedded with a purplish-grey hue, and the weather was just perfection. That's when it hit me that although the good things in life come at a very very high cost, the best things in life are absolutely free. Ok will stop here. Adios. And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives Where we're gonna be when we turn 25 I keep thinking times will never change Keep on thinking things will always be the same But when we leave this year we won't be coming back No more hanging out cause we're on a different track And if you got something that you need to say You better say it right now cause you don't have another day Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down These memories are playing like a film without sound And i keep thinking of that night in june I didn't know much of love But it came too soon and there was me and you And then we got real blue Stay at home talking on the telephone We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair And this is how it feels As we go on, we remember All the times we had together And as our lives change, come whatever We will still be, friends forever... So if we get the big jobs and we make the big money When we look back now, will our jokes still be funny? Will we still remember everything we learned in school? Still be trying to break every single rule Will little brainy bobby be the stockbroker man? Can heather find a job that won't interfere with her tan? I keep, i keep thinking that it's not goodbye Keep on thinking it's a time to fly And this is how it feels.. Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now? Can we survive it out there? can we make it somehow? I guess i thought that this would never end And suddenly it's like we're women and men Will the past be a shadow that will follow us round? Will these memories fade when i leave this town I keep, i keep thinking that it's not goodbye Keep on thinking it's a time to fly... 8:12 a.m. - 2003-10-13 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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